Grieving a suicide - book review

Grieving a Suicide - A Book Review

Al Hsu: Inter-Varsity Press British Edition 2002. The most recent edition is available via Amazon.

I have just been speaking to a friend whose son walked onto a railway line in front of a train 2 years ago. My friend said that he and his wife have good days and bad days. They still have not done anything with their son’s clothes and belongings. Clearing out the loft, they find things stored away which they had hoped their son would want in the future. So many things evoke memories. Some memories are good, like looking at cards their son sent them on Mother’s and Father’s days - pure treasures they find stored away.

Guilt, is the worst and constant feeling. “Everyone says we couldn’t have done more”, he tells me, but the feeling of guilt never leaves. What if-----. Maybe-----.

What helps most: “people who sit down and listen to our story.”

Grieving a suicide, written by a Christian man, covers all these topics and many more. It is written in an unusually honest and open way. In my own chapter on Suicide in the book Talking about Dying - free to read on this web site - I mention the unanswerable question ‘Why?’ Those deeply affected by a suicide often believe that having an explanation will bring comfort and peace. This, Hsu says, is a false promise. His Dad committed suicide after a stroke left him disabled. Like others he searched for reasons. “All I know for certain is that my dad decided that death was better than life ---- He did it to end his pain.”

Anne-Grace Scheinin has said “Suicide doesn’t end pain, it only lays it on the broken shoulders of the survivors.”

Hsu says that in the aftermath of suicide we need healing and restoration to our broken heart and broken life.

The final chapter talks of finding lessons from suicide: We live in a fallen world; Life is uncertain; We are reminded of our own mortality; We are connected to many others; Whilst the loved one turned to suicide because of loss of hope, we need hope.

This is a book written by a sincere Christian. He is also a sincere and honest human being who seeks to travel together with others of any faith and none, who have experienced the awfulness of being a relative or friend of someone who decided that death was better than life.

Elaine Sugden